Nothing Works! Finally, a Solution!

If you’re like me, you’re a “Triple F:” “Fat, Frustrated, and Fretting!”

I’ve tried everything when it comes to losing weight:

• Not sticking to a moderate diet.
• Not understanding the difference between a “tip” and a “scientific fact.”
• Not doing my research on any plan I undertake.
• Not stopping to question the weight-loss products I spent lots of money on.
• Not taking the time to educate myself and instead taking any advice that promised a solution.
• Not assuming any responsibility for my failures.

Nothing worked!  Can you believe it?!

Idiots Have Money And It Sucks

Unless you just really lucked out after you got out of college, chances are you had to work in a crappy job for at least a little while.  You knew you were hugely over-qualified, ate shit from customers, and drove around in some junker you bought in high school or during your freshmen year of college.

In this junker, you get behind a Mercedes Benz that completely ignores right-of-way at a stop sign and jets out in front of oncoming traffic, rolls up to a green light and stops, then, after stopping at a green, makes a turn starting at the inside lane, and ends on the outside lane on a crowded street.  Proceeds to drive down the road at 10 miles per hour below the speed limit.

“It is so unfair that this moron somehow makes enough money to afford a Mercedes.”  I’m willing to bet that this, or something eerily similar, has happened to you.

Dropping Weights is Uncalled for, Crossfit

Caveat: Anyone who lifts knows that there are some instances where dropping happens; you can’t complete a squat and need to fall into the supports, your grip fails on a dead lift, you can’t finish a power clean with heavy weight, and obviously all the lifts where set-downs are potentially dangerous (snatch) etc.  That isn’t what I’m talking about.

I’m not a proponent of Crossfit, but I wouldn’t knock it.

I went over my opinion of Crossfit on the whole a while ago.  The TL;DR gist is: “If it gets you into self improvement, and you enjoy it, then there is no harm and you can make solid progress.  However, it does encourage some sloppy/annoying habits.”

One of those obnoxious habits is the accepted practice of slamming weights to the ground regardless of the weight or movement.

Be a sort-of-Hero, Earthlings — gofundme.com/Kidney4Ashley

I’ve always thought that celebrities have the ability to help a lot more causes than they do.  That they could use their fame for something other than wading hip deep through pussy (or dongs…whatever female stars like to slosh through).

Louisiana gay laws to banish homosexuals to the French Polynesian islands

GUEST BLOG, by: The News Giraffe

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Residents in the state of Louisiana are speaking out after new gay laws were passed which will banish homosexuals to the French Polynesian islands.

Passionate vs. Passionot

Passion is compelling.

At a certain point, a lot of people realize that a strong opinion or intense interest in an activity or subject matter has a certain charisma about it.

MAJOR AWARD YOU BAGS OF SHIT!

I don’t participate in blog awards, typically.  I think they’re an excuse to connect and backlink, much like how asking an attractive member of the opposite sex into your dorm room to watch a movie is an excuse to exchange bodily fluids with them. 

Couple Found Guilty of Having Sex on Florida Beach

After only 15 minutes of deliberation, most of which was spent praying and condemning the defendants, an all-Nun Jury in Bradenton Beach, Florida found Jose Caballero and Elissa Alvarez guilty of two counts each of lewd and lascivious conduct.

MSN. Come on now, really?

Today’s MSN headline:

“New York City Police Officer Shot in Head Dies of Wounds.”

I don’t mean to disrespect the obvious tragedy here, but like…ya think?!  As far as articles that you can read without reading them, this one tops the charts.

Lets Celebrate: I have 500 Minions! (Followers)

Some people get 500 followers a day, some people already have 5,000+, some people haven’t been sober for literally years and either don’t know why you’d want followers, or can’t read.

When I started this blog and got my first follower, I was really excited.  Like, super excited.  I wrote my first post, not unlike many other bloggers, hoping that it would be an outlet for creativity as a way to battle back depression.